So there was a guy that I met in 2003. He was thirty-three, I was twenty.
We spoke on the phone nonstop for a few weeks before actually dating. I asked him if he were ever married, he told me no. When I asked why, he said that his was very demanding and he couldn’t find someone that was willing to accept his hours.
A few months in to our relationship, he e-mailed me a very disturbing e-mail. He said that he was married! His wife was in Alaska on business travel, but he assured me that they were in the works of getting a divorce. As a naive twenty year old, I agreed to stay with him. I didn’t want to end the relationship if they were indeed going to get a divorce when she returned. Looking back, I was too trusting.
We had plans to go out one day, but they were halted. He sent a text saying, my wife is here and I’ll be late. I need to tell her about us. I waited and waited. He wouldn’t pick up the phone and talk to me or anything. He would only text. After about three hours, I said something to the affect of what’s taking you so long? His reply was, check your feelings, she’s my wife!
I held resentment toward him because it was wrong for him to ask me to check my feelings, when he was the one who lied to me and intentionally lead me down a dead end. It was stupid for him to imply that I could magically turn off the same feelings that I had for him the day before and the months that preceeded. Had he been upfront with me about his marriage, I wouldn’t have gotten in a relationship with him. But he held me on a string.
So eventually I got over it and moved on. A few days ago, he sent me a message on Facebook that read “Hi B, this is Rob. How are you?”
Instantly I frowned up because there was no reason for him to contact me! I replied “doing okay. you.” He replied, “doing well! You still look good. Lost some weight I see.” That’s when I deleted his message, declined his pending friend request, and set my page to private.
Why not leave me alone? Do I look like some desperate woman that will forgive so easily? I have NO intentions of speaking with him. Not because I’m bitter, but because he is too old to be disingenuous. I don’t see any benefit he would add to my life.
Maybe I should have replied…”Dude, get over yourself!” before I deleted the message. I’m really offended by that. If I lied to someone in that capacity, I would have too much shame to contact them as if everything was okay. I don’t understand people sometimes.