Is Cheating the Byproduct of a Lack of Communication?

What are your thoughts and emotions around the quote:

If you found your “person” hold them close because there are people in the world stealing spouses.

– Bishop Greg Davis

That quote led to an in-depth discussion with my partner. I asked for his thoughts. His response, “no one can be stolen if they don’t want to be.” I agreed.

But, I added that no one is personal property and we should all consider ourselves on loan. Some loans are longer than others. Some have multiple lenders. He didn’t agree.

As a matter of fact, he went on to tell me that when he marries, he expects to love her on a different level and some existing friendships may have to fall by the wayside. Wait…what!

See, when we first met, I established – firmly – that I wasn’t looking to get married nor have children. Sort of a “been there, done that, over it” mentality. In addition, I realized that his statement meant that we were on two different playing fields. Since I wasn’t entertaining the idea of marriage, there were no other levels for me to climb (what he gets is what he’ll keep).

I remembered how free I was in the beginning to express myself, openly about my desires and my perspectives. The conversation we had that night, shed light on the fact that I had fallen into the same trap of “withholding” all of me after a while.

The conversation went on for about an hour. More things were said that deflated any hope I had in us having a common understanding of what open and honesty looks like in a relationship.

With that said, I feel that the quote implies that we should suppress our connections with others FOR YEARS (some of us a lifetime…yikes!). If so, then I question, what fun is a relationship if you can’t continue to freely explore YOU in the process?

You honestly may judge me for what I’m saying. But distraction by attraction is real – no matter how secure you believe your relationship to be. If you’ve never been distracted by an out-of-the-blue attraction, good for you – you’re on an island. There are plenty of us who understand that attraction is unpredictable and inevitable.

Lately I’ve been distracted. There’s someone whose energy has captured my attention. Nope, I swear I haven’t acted or said anything that would make me disloyal to my partner.

But – the constant thought of connecting with his guy is definitely there. I watched his videos and clicked his photos plenty of times, fantasizing of his lips against mine. I am one double tap away from flagging my own account – just so I can get kicked off the platform. HA!

Yes, sure, it’s all fantasy. I understand that I am enamored by this person’s façade of what they want to show. I know that the connection may be a disappointment in real life. I get all of that. But, as a Scorpio and a an overachiever, I ambitiously conquer my quests.

As a writer, I thrive in fantasy land. I’m yearning for the collision of fantasy and lust. This could be the inspiration behind my next big piece. If you know me, you know that I am an erotic writer at heart. Zane, Daniel Allen, and E. L. James are my girls. They get me!

Motherhood and society – on the other hand – don’t always understand.

I’m a sucker for written love notes. I eat them up because they play with my mental. There were a million times that I thought of sending him something slick to tap into a game of mental warfare. But, I have been good. I promise!

Damn society for its stipulations on partnerships. Can’t we just connect with people as the mood hits and then disconnect with them right after? I’m not trying to go around connecting with everyone…just those who I genuinely vibe with.

Others feel this way, they just don’t express it openly. Therefore, they cheat, and it’s wrapped under the guise of “people stealing partners.” We all know that’s not entirely true.

If more people would openly communicate about their true desires – just as they would confide in their closest friend – then maybe cheating wouldn’t even be a thing. Maybe there would be more polyamorous and free-spirited people who understand that intimate connections can be made while still sustaining long-term, fulfilling relationships.

What do you think? Is your ego in the way of allowing your partner to be completely honest with you about their human desires?

Thanks for listening to my rant and allowing me to stimulate your mental – yet again! 🙂