No one is really sure why we fall in love, but there is strong evidence to suggest that falling and staying in love has health benefits. In many studies, those who consider their life partner as a best friend live longer, happier lives. I’m at a point in my life where I am searching for my best friend.
Life has always been a mystery to me. I actually value loving myself, the planet, and my spiritual being more than I do another human. Even as a young girl, I wasn’t totally satisfied with the idea of marrying and having children. I wanted to travel and work my ass off until I could do it no longer.
To this day, I vicariously live through women who are able to move through life, with no obligations. I have an author client who recently packed her bags and used her savings to move to Mexico near the water, just to be free of the hustle and bustle of American living. I envy her true freedom to move about the earth and connect with whomever, whenever, and for “whyever.”
At any rate, for my 40th birthday, I took a solo trip to Grenada. It took me a few days to fully free myself from my mental rat race, but I did experience a slither of peace while there. The entire trip was dedicated to finding the “new me.” The book titled From Strength to Strength aided in that alignment.
There’s no escaping my reality as a mother. I don’t have the desire to leave my kid behind to fulfill my earthly quest. (Though, when I saw the Nina Simone biopic, a part of me was empathetic.) So, as my journey shifted, my goals became more defined. I am now a woman that is gaining clarity on what the second half of life looks like.
Breathe. It’s going to be okay.
Over the past few months, I’ve noticed a slight decline in my production and patience. I no longer want to work with clients on a larger scale. I’d rather take the content I’ve worked so hard on and automate the process for success. Actually, this works better for everyone in the end. Nevertheless, the time I will gain from automation will be spent building my intimate relationships.
That means, I’m dating with intent. The outdated version of me would’ve seen dating as a way to sleep with whomever, whenever, and “whyever.” The new version of me is more intentional. I am looking to build a sustainable relationship.
For so many years, I spent time nurturing my skills as a writer and editor. Now, I want to zone in on building with someone I can cuddle with in the wee hours of night, talk to about anything, and lean on in old age. After all, this type of love will not fall from the sky. Anything sustainable requires mindful attention.
I am not looking to entertain many. Just one. And, I am patient until he arrives. My affirmations are:
- He is mentally sound (no mental illness and not afraid of therapy).
- He is a creative or innovator whose business is also thriving. Let’s build wealth through our collective talents.
- He is open-minded and able to communicate effectively and openly.
- He is selfless and also affectionate toward the people in his circle.
- He is in a position to fully entertain building a sustainable, long-lasting relationship.