My last post was a bit heavy, but I thought it important to publish the things that often cause our consciousness to stretch. We stretch when we are challenged, not when things are rosy.

So, let’s talk about this stretching and how I’ve changed. For starters, I’m much more aware of my thoughts and actions during challenging times. I’m not as emotionally reactive; rather, I try to determine what about me attracted me to the particular circumstance. I often question who benefits, who I can benefit, how I can benefit, and so on. It’s a much more enjoyable thing to do than to stew in negative thoughts.

Though, yesterday, I was consumed with thoughts of sadness and had an emotional reaction to such. I took time to dig deep and understand what I was truly feeling. The reality is, it would have been nice to have someone here to hug and cuddle me for a few moments. That physical touch would have made all the difference, actually. I yearned for physical intimacy and assurance that I was wanted. But, since I was alone yesterday, I found myself chatting with friends on the phone more often than usual to compensate for the lack of a warm, loving body next to me.

In my last post, I also mentioned a woman crush. She’s absolutely gorgeous—stunning. I was really open to the idea of developing something more intimate with her but not knowing if she’s on the same page has waned my excitement a bit. I remember a spiritual leader I follow mentioning that we should have no expectations regarding outcomes. This is where I’m at. Now that my mind is more open, my next partner very well could come in the form of a woman (even if it’s not her in particular). How loving and exciting!

May your day be filled with love and extra cuddles!