So the day is finally here. My manager pulled me to the side this morning and asked to speak with me. I closed his office door and took a seat as he requested.
“I’m not sure what you’ve heard about today, but it’s going to be a very long day.” He said. “Today is the day that the company is letting people go.”
I didn’t move. Rather, I quietly questioned if the rumors of termination packages were true. I secretly wanted a package! But my fantasy was short lived. He continued with, “I can assure you that you have nothing to worry about.”
I didn’t know if I should yell “Damn” or “Hallelujah.” I’ve written so often about how I’m not happy here and how I’m being pushed further back in to a corner. Don’t worry though. I meant it when I said it was left to fate. So I’m humbled in the end. Staying here is purely financial motivation.
But I can’t help but envy (just a little bit) the people across from me packing up their offices as other co-workers around them sniffle from sadness. Many of them have been here for decades. If I could, I would tell the managers to let me go instead. I work two jobs and have no children to support. I would be the one most desired to fire. I may survive a little better than them through this crisis – although not by much. But if I intervened it wouldn’t be in fate’s hands would it?
In the end, I’m thankful for my job. Even if it is just a job…a job that I’m torn by.