He use to…
He use to lick, suck, and hmmm love me good.
He use to look me in my eyes and tell my soul secrets that only he could.
He use to love me down in a way that no one else could.
He took my virginity, or shall I say he tamed my inner beast. We rode the waves of life together and nothing could stop us from the monsoon of our inner dwellings. As one guy dangled between my legs for the thrill of the ride, another stood beside me as I dropped him off at the next stop, but my best friend…he held on tight. As a matter of fact he steered our platform to a world so fierce that only he and I could survive.
With just us in this world my mind glittered with thoughts of creating new life. But somewhere along the way he took his name out of the sand. He began to sit on the other side of the beach. It started with a night but then days went by that I couldn’t find him. After a month or two, I found him…and he was filled with remorse.
“How could I have been so foolish?” He asked himself as pain grew deeper in his heart. The world he took me to became dark.
No matter how hard I begged him to stay in the light, he couldn’t turn away from shadows of his past. They reminded him that he was to feel love no more. They told him that I couldn’t be here because I was them in disguise. They made him to believe that I never spoke secrets to his soul. The force of those shadows was so strong that his touch turned cold, his eyes turned black, and his heart dried.
“I have no feelings for you.” He said as I turned to walk away. “You may go do as you please,” he warned. The cold was bitter and so were his words. My heart bled for him – it bled deeply for a year.
Not once did I turn back to reach for the guy who dangled between my legs. Not once did I look for the gentleman who was on my arm. Rather I stayed close to my true love…waiting for him to win the battle against the darkness.
We made love a few times, but they were nothing like the times before. His frost-bitten tongue stopped licking and there was often very little sucking. We fucked to please him while my clit, breasts, lips, and heart wanted so much more.
If we are the only two people living in this world then why doesn’t he see me for what I am? Why can’t my light penetrate his darkness?
I built a raft to drift back to my old world but when I get out to sea I envision him coming to his senses, and so I turn back. A few times I picked up a hitch hiker who heard of our beautiful world and wanted to explore it. And when I told them stories of how dark it became, they promised to overthrow the dark lord, so I threw them off-board before we ever make it to shore. Some of them were promising, but none of them were him.
Today I sit beside him, watching as he stares out to sea. His heart still dried and his energy still cold. I wait for the day he wins this war so that our beautiful home can be bright once more.