How A Great Man Captured My Attention

We all have our shit. If you follow my work, you are familiar with mine. You know that I’m tired of relationships and marriages. Yet, I met a man that has me captivated beyond belief. Though this time, I’m crossing my t’s and dotting my i’s.

How did he get me? Here are his qualities. He is:

Open. 

If you want anyone to trust you, be open.

A wise man once said, “A closed fist cannot give nor receive.” The same is true for a closed mind or a closed heart. Still, society promotes being closed off to avoid being hurt. But just think, if everyone walked around with a closed heart, the chances of being swept away by love may not occur.

My guy gives me his all, even though he gets shit from some of his friends for doing a lot for me…a woman that isn’t sure she’s ready to settle down. However, his openness allows me to receive all he has to offer and appreciate his seriousness. When friends ask him why he does things for me, his response is “I want to do things for her and with her. I understand the consequences if things don’t work out in my favor.”

I can’t lie. His “vulnerability” is contagious and I’ve become open in turn.

A Great Communicator. 

Great communicators can usually keep situations and relationships even-keeled.

Anyone that doesn’t communicate well may eventually use anger, manipulation, verbal abuse, or cheating as a way to deal with their emotion. There’s no way I want that type of drama in my life.

Part of the reason he captivated me is because he communicates maturely. Trust me, some of my conversations aren’t easy to have. I sometimes forget the male ego has a stake in the space. Yet, he’s open to hearing what I have to say, regurgitating my point of view, and shedding light on how he interprets it. Ultimately, we leave the conversation with an understanding on each other’s stance and a goal on how to proceed.

Our most recent conversation was about us dating in a gray area. Essentially, we love each other, but I’m not ready to settle into a traditional relationship. He’s all the way ready. But, I don’t want to give up any of my freedom at this time. He understands that I am in the process of healing from two broken marriages and trying to maintain as much “control” over my life as I can. It’s a difficult pill for him to swallow sometimes, but he does. And he makes it clear that I may not have “all of him” in this capacity forever. I get it. I respect it. We communicate openly, and in the process we set boundaries while building a strong communicative foundation.

Swaggalicious.

There’s something very handsome about a man that holds a good amount of confidence in who he is and what he has to offer.

There’s a certain amount of “firmness” that he possesses that totally sweeps me off of my feet. He lost his mom at the age of 15. The experience made him even-keeled. He’s unapologetic in his decisions, yet he’s very loving in his approach.

Sexual.

If you can master satisfying your partner in the bedroom, you can master almost anything.

I never realized how unfulfilling sex could be until I got pregnant. That’s when everything went downhill (due to complications) and I started missing out on the joys of cunnilingus and frequency. Once I entered the dating scene, I realized that a great deal of men do not understand the way a woman’s body works, nor do they take the time to care. Some men believe that a woman gets turned on by giving him fellatio. That’s so not the case. Mental and physical foreplay are required to get her aroused.

I love this guy because he takes his time with me. He rubs on me, smacks my ass, and most of all…eats! When we are in our intimate moments, he makes sure that he strokes with his hips, in varying angles, and at various speeds. Nearly every time, I have tapped out multiple times. And, because he makes my experience so pleasurable, I go down on him with eagerness!

Accepting.

Accepting people for what they bring to the table is a highly attractive trait.

He is ready to accept me and everything I bring to the table. He has no kids, but he has accepted my son as part of the package deal. He accepts the relationship I have with my son’s father and he’s ready to take on all that comes with it. When I vent about my son’s father (which is rare) he listens without bias and reminds me that we will both make the best decision for our son.

This is important for me, because my son is my world. My relationship with my son’s father is close knit. Whomever steps foot in my life will need to be strong enough to share that space and take a seat at the table in certain situations.

Oh and he accepts the fact that I cannot have any more children, even though he was on the fence about wanting children of his own one day.

Attentive.

When you are interested in someone, you invest time and attention toward them.

My guy has ultimately shattered my glass barriers by showing me time and attention. He knows my monthly cycle and he takes that in consideration when making plans for trips or sleepovers.

He knows my vices and so much more without me saying a word. He pays attention to my movements, my words, my vibe.

Independent.

There is nothing more relaxing than hanging with someone that needs you for nothing.

I am completely relaxed when it comes to him. I do for him because I want to, not because he needs me. Vice versa. There’s something beautiful about a man that offers everything I can offer in return. Our lives are not complete by coming together…it is magnified beyond measure.

Right Now.

Who knows what the future holds. I am a firm believer that everyone and everything has a season. But right now, he’s the man that captivates my soul and makes me answer “Yes” to the question “Could I do this…again!?”